18 August 2023
Question
My boyfriend claims to be an "agnostic-atheist-Jew". Additionally, he says that he strongly identifies with his Jewish heritage. He will sometimes put on Tefillin in the morning to accompany his meditation and contemplation. I think that this undermines the tradition, and therefore he should not do it, because he says that he does not believe. What do you think?
Answer
Your boyfriend is a hypocrite. And that is fantastic. He should continue being so.
A hypocrite is someone who acts contrary to their beliefs. That usually has a negative connotation, but not always.
When a person behaves in a way that is beneath their value system, that is bad hypocrisy. Like a religious person who is dishonest in business. Or a judge who takes bribes.
But then there is good hypocrisy, when someone does a noble act despite their beliefs. Like a hedonist who gives charity. Or an anarchist who stops at red lights. Or an atheist who puts on Tefillin.
Believers sometimes do unholy things, despite their beliefs. So non-believers can do holy things, despite their disbelief. We each have many facets to our being. Belief is only one of them. Someone may struggle to reconcile G-d's existence in their brain, or feel Him with their heart, but that doesn't mean they must banish any trace of G-d from their life.
Yes, it is paradoxical. Tefillin are about bringing more G-d-consciousness into your heart and mind. Does it make any sense to put them on if you don't believe in Him? What would G-d think of that?
Well, it turns out G-d doesn't mind paradoxes. A Talmudic passage quotes G-d as saying, "I would be fine with people rejecting me, as long as they keep my Torah." Better do good things and not believe, than believe and do no good.
We need more anarchists to stop at red lights, and atheists to put on Tefillin. G-d is ok with good hypocrites. You should be too.
Source
Midrash Eicha Rabba, Pesichta 2