8 September 2022
I once heard a story about a certain professor, who had the opportunity to meet Queen Elizabeth II some time in the 1980's. He was ushered into a hall in Buckingham Palace, and stood among several other visitors, lined up single file awaiting the Queen's entrance.
With much pomp and ceremony, in she walked. She made her way along the line, greeting each guest with a few pleasantries, and shaking each one's hand.
This posed a problem for the professor. Apart from being a world famous therapist and author, he was also a chassidic rabbi. Though he met with countless people of all backgrounds, he adhered to the law of Shomer Negiah - avoiding physical touch between men and women who are not immediate relatives. This includes even the most innocent handshake. Physical contact is reserved for within marriage.
But now he was faced with a dilemma. Can he refuse the hand of a monarch? What repercussions could there be for the Jewish community? The professor imagined the tabloid headlines, " Rabbi Snubs Queen: her highness' hand left awkwardly dangling ."
As the Queen approached nearer and nearer, he quickly racked his brain for a solution. There are some authorities who permit shaking hands to avoid embarrassment. It is a serious sin to cause someone shame. Surely this situation warrants a lenient approach. Better compromise on this law just this once, rather than be strict and cause a modern day pogrom. And anyway, the Queen wears gloves, another argument for leniency.
He decided that he has to make an exception this time. He will shake the Queen's hand.
The moment finally arrived, and the professor stood face to face with the monarch. He confidently extended his hand. But to his surprise, the Queen
kept her hands at her sides.
She tilted her head, and looked at the professors hand with a puzzled look. She then said, "I was under the impression that rabbis don't shake women's hands." She gave a cheeky smile, the professor laughed and thanked her, and she moved to the next guest.
What the professor didn't know was that the Queen had a close relationship with then Chief Rabbi Lord Immanuel Jacobovitz. Through this friendship, she had become familiar with many Jewish practices, including the law of Shomer Negiah .
"That's the last time I'll feel self-conscious about my religious convictions!" the professor promised himself.
This is another example of how our biggest fears are often completely baseless. We avoid what we think will be uncomfortable conversations, difficult confrontations and looming decisions, only to find that in reality they are no big deal.
When you need to stand up for your beliefs, don't waffle, and don't look for easy outs. Just say it like it is. Tell your potential employer straight out, you can't work on Jewish festivals. When declining an invitation to Friday night drinks, be upfront and tell them it's because of Shabbos. And if you can't shake hands, just say so. Even the Queen will respect you.
Source
I heard this story many years ago, but have never seen or heard a source to corroborate it. This is why I didn't name the professor, though some may be able to guess. The story gives some background as to why when Rabbi Aron Sufrin (uncle of our own Rabbi Sufrin) met the Queen more recently , she knew not to shake his hand too.