26 September 2025
Question
My question is about the Yizkor memorial prayers. Why are people whose parents are alive required to leave shul for this prayer? Even if they don’t say Yizkor, why can’t they stay inside?
Answer
There is a tradition that during Yizkor, the souls of the departed descend and enter the shul. Those not saying Yizkor step outside, as if to make room for these souls who have come to join the prayers.
You won’t find this written in the classic sources. But you can feel it. There is something magnetic about Yizkor. Jews who don’t normally step into a shul find themselves pulled back for these prayers. Who is pulling them? Their parents. The souls of mothers and fathers are calling their children to join them in shul, bringing them home to Judaism.
Even parents who weren’t so observant in life see things differently from their place in heaven. They know that Yiddishkeit is what connects us, and that the mitzvot of their children are what keep their souls alive.
So Yizkor is not only a prayer of memory. It is a reunion. A moment when heaven and earth meet, and the bond between parent and child continues, unbroken and eternal. We mention their names and pledge charity in their honour. And they come down and embrace us with their love.
Fortunate are those who step outside during Yizkor, still blessed with parents in this world. And fortunate are those who remain inside, blessed with parents who never truly leave.
