Is Your Love Unconditional?

Answer

My kids ask me the same question: If you love me for who I am, why do I have to go to school? You love me no matter what, so do I really need to clean up after myself? I am your child and always will be. Even if I speak back to you disrespectfully, ignore you when you tell me it’s bedtime and leave my shoes lying around in the middle of the hallway. So why do you demand so much of me? Why do these things matter if you love me unconditionally? The answer is obvious. Demands and unconditional love are not mutually exclusive. In fact, they go hand in hand. I demand from you because I love you. I have expectations because I care. I want to see you become the best person you can be. Unconditional love means the relationship is unbreakable. It doesn’t mean your behaviour is inconsequential. And yet, I will love you however you turn out. Because you are my child. G-d’s commandments are not conditions to earn G-d’s love. They are expressions of that love. As the Midrash says, the mitzvos were given to refine people. Our loving Parent wants to see us thrive. And if we don’t, He still loves us. The way back is always open. That’s why every year we have the High Holidays, days of repentance and renewal. We can fix what went wrong and start over. Deep down, my kids know why they have to keep the rules. Even if they complain about it, they want to do the right thing. And even as I trip over their shoes in the hallway, I smile and think how much I love them. And hope they’ll put them away next time.