3 May 2024
Question
My two-and-a-half year old son is really playing up. For example, yesterday he climbed on a chair to get himself up on the kitchen counter and started eating the raw chocolate cake mix straight out of the bowl. I caught him and pulled him down, telling him sternly that he's not allowed to do that. He knew he was doing something wrong. But as soon as I turned my back,
he did it again. This time he picked up a sharp knife and tried to cut a carrot on his own. So I took him down again and gave another stern rebuke. This stuff happens about ten times a day. Is this normal? Do I need to be doing discipline differently?
Answer
Here is a formula that I have observed to be very often true:
Wild Child + Attentive Parents + 20 Years = Good Adult
We all know people who as kids misbehaved terribly, but turned out to be wonderful adults. It could be that they ended up that way not in spite of their childhood cheekiness, but because of it.
You see, rambunctious kids get reminded of what they should and should not be doing more often than quieter children. It may not have immediate results, but the oft-repeated messages eventually sink in.
As parents we sometimes forget what the goal is. It isn't about having well behaved children (though that would be lovely), it's about rearing well behaved adults. "Teach the child his way," said the wise King Solomon, "so that when he is old he won't stray from it." Childhood is the time to test boundaries and discover the do's and don'ts of life. Every naughty
little episode is one such test, giving the parents another opportunity to define those boundaries.
You are lucky. You get ten teaching moments every day. Your repeated chiding of your child, when done calmly and firmly, will help reinforce his sense of right and wrong. Even if he continues to break those boundaries, he knows where they are. That will help him later in life.
Your toddler is doing what toddlers are supposed to do - climb on the counter. You are doing what a parent is supposed to do - gently remind him, again and again, that he shouldn't do that. And you'll see, it will work. When was the last time you saw an adult climb on the counter? In the meantime, keep on doing what you are doing, you are a great father. And put the knives away.
Source
Proverbs 22:6