Can You Be Bribed?

Answer

Incentives are only necessary for immature people. That’s what Maimonides writes. Once you grow up, you should “do that which is true because it is true.” You don’t need rewards when you appreciate that good is good because it’s good.

But until you get there, rewards will help. The Talmud teaches that it’s better to do good for ulterior motives than not do it at all. If it takes a carrot to nudge you out of inertia, so be it. Once you’re in the habit of doing good, you’ll eventually do it for its intrinsic value.

So it seems that rewards are useful, especially for kids. However, the Rebbe said something astounding. He taught that in our times the energy has shifted, and we have entered a new stage in history. Children no longer need bribes to do good. Kids today have a natural sensitivity to goodness. They get it that the reward for a mitzvah is the mitzvah itself. Being kind, studious or selfless is itself more valuable to them than the piece of candy they get in return.

Does this mean we should stop giving prizes to kids? Not necessarily. Just don’t see it as a reward, but rather recognition. What we notice and celebrate teaches our children what matters. When they do good, that deserves attention. A little prize is not payment, it’s acknowledgment, so they know they are on the right track.

The Rebbe took it a step further. He advised giving meaningful prizes, like Torah books. That creates a loop of goodness. Do good. Get noticed. Receive a prize that will help you do more good.

It might sound unrealistic to think that our kids don’t need rewards. But try it out. Believe that they want to do good. And give them recognition when they do.