30 September 2022
Question
I just read the English translation of Kol Nidrei. I was shocked. It isn't even a prayer. It's a cancellation of vows. We basically say that any promises we made are null and void. We don't have to keep them. It’s as if we never said them.
Really? So I don't have to pay back my debts after Yom Kippur? I don't have to keep my word? Is that what Yom Kippur is about - squirming out of obligations?
Answer
There’s good news and bad news.
The bad news is, you do have to pay your debts. The Torah is very clear that we need to keep promises and be true to our word.
The good news is, there are some promises you shouldn’t keep. These are the ones cancelled by Kol Nidrei.
Kol Nidrei does not nullify any commitments you made to someone else. Kol Nidrei only cancels vows you made to yourself, about yourself.
These are all the things we swear will never come about. And those vows, we make all the time.
Here are some examples:
I’m never going to get my act together. My life will always be a mess.
I can’t possibly make peace with my sister-in-law. That’s never going to happen.
I can't ever see myself keeping Shabbos or kosher fully. I’m just not the type.
I’m destined to be a loner. I will never find true love.
Words have power. When we make these statements about ourselves, we limit our own abilities. If you say you can't, you're right.
Kol Nidrei absolves us of these self-imposed limitations. We are disowning the narrow view of ourselves and what we can achieve. We are no longer bound by our small vision of ourselves. We are opening up to G-d’s unlimited vision of us.
It’s like the story of two friends, Chaim and Yankel, who went fishing together. Chaim was an experienced fisherman, while Yankel was going fishing for the first time.
Chaim, like all good fishermen, catches nothing all day. Call it beginners’ mazel, Yankel is reeling in one fish after another. But strangely, Yankel throws all the big fish back in the water, and only keeps the little ones.
Chaim asks Yankel, “What are you doing? You’re only supposed to throw back small fish. Why aren't you keeping the big ones?”
Answers Yankel, “Because I only have a small frying pan.”
I’ll never. I can’t. It’s not going to happen. That’s our small frying pan talking.
How many big fish have we thrown away because we think our frying pan is too small?
Don’t base your future goals on past experience. Just because you couldn't do something yesterday, doesn't mean you can't do it tomorrow. When you say Kol Nidrei this year, throw away the small frying pan. You’ve got big fish to catch.
May you be sealed for a year of blessing, wishing you an uplifting fast.
